Airline Tickets

Here is a humorous analogy! Like it?

by irrezolut

Question by Bugz: Here is a humorous analogy! Like it?
Different operating systems. Different styles. But what if the quirks and styles of the different operating systems were applied to AIRLINES?

What if airlines ran things the way operating systems do? This humorous analogy, applying operating system philosophies as if they were airlines!

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines…

UNIX Airways:

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS:

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on…

Mac Airlines:

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air:

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air:

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air:

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says “Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture”, at which point a camera in the wall you didn’t notice before takes your picture. “Thank you, here is your ticket” You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself “wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing”

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are “sure” you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked “Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?” you instinctively say “Allow”.

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn’t updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air:

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to sta
Continuation! No space! hehe

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, “You had to do what with the seat?”

Well! Like it?

Disclaimer: 0% serious and 100% fun!

Star and rate if you like! OK? :o)

Best answer:

Answer by Angel
Nice. 50%

Have a nice day!

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3 comments - What do you think?  Posted by - October 25, 2010 at 2:03 am

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How do I file lawsuit for airlines Cebu Pacific, and what is the best way for me to get action asap?

Question by supremedahon: How do I file lawsuit for airlines Cebu Pacific, and what is the best way for me to get action asap?
I am planning to file lawsuit for Cebu Pacific Airlines based in the Philippines, on grounds of Breach of Contract. According to their Conditions of Contract stated in their ticket:

” 13. Refund will be made provided that the unused coupons are surrendered to Carrier within two (2) years after the expiry date of the validity of the ticket. Refunds for credit card transactions are processed within 45 working days.”

My request for refund was filed July 3, 2008, and now is way past the 45 working days limit.. the amount has not been credited yet to my card.

I was thinking, I would have better chances of getting action asap, by building a coalition of disgruntled passengers that have the same issue. I see lots of them posting in internet forums. So what is the best course of action I take?

Best answer:

Answer by Joe
That would be a class action lawsuit. It can be expensive to initiate and usually takes years to resolve. Unless you are talking about your own losses or damages of a significant amount, it won’t be worth pursuing. Your best course of action would be to hire an attorney to communicate your demands to Cebu Pacific under threat of lawsuit. Second best course of action is for everybody to stop using them. Their practice of advertising such things as 1 peso tickets that end up costing 10,000 pesos for fees and taxes should be against the law but they continue. Good luck in getting a refund. They are just high level scam artists. The international community will get involved when their planes start dropping from the sky.

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4 comments - What do you think?  Posted by - October 24, 2010 at 10:41 am

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Q&A: traveling with my dog?

by roberthuffstutter

Question by Spicatt: traveling with my dog?
i am taking my dog with me to Bahrain from denver and we going to have to take 2 different airlines ,, is there different fees for both of them or i have to pay it once only ? how long before i leave i should reserve ticket for him and do i reserve the ticket ” way back ” at the same time too ?

Best answer:

Answer by John T

Yes you should definatly book your Dog’s flight along with yours, especially if you are planning on taking him/her on board with you. There is a weight limit if you are doing this usually between 15-20 lbs per dog with soft crate. The airlines only allow a certain amount of dogs on board so it is better to get the ticket earlier and it should only be about $ 50 per trip, not both transfers. Call ASAP and book to make sure you get the tickets.

Another note, if you are putting your dog in cargo please I cannot emphasis this enough, make sure your dog has plenty of water and before the plane leaves ask the airline what other materials the plane is traveling with in cargo. This could be very dangerous for dogs and only in an emergency should you travel with a larger dog that you have to place in cargo. If you have to wait as long as you can to give them your dog so that he/she is in cargo for the least amount of time and make that your first priority once you get off. Since you are taking a transfer also make sure that your dog will be transferred with you.

Its not easy traveling with a dog as I have done it in the past but once you get to your destination what better to have with you than your trusty companion.

Enjoy your trip and please read up more about pet travel on the web and with your individual carrier.

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2 comments - What do you think?  Posted by - at 7:04 am

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Q&A: Alaska Airlines Peak vs Saver Schedule?

Question by alcmena: Alaska Airlines Peak vs Saver Schedule?
mileage plan:
20,000 round trip for a “SAVER TICKET”
40,000 round trip for a “PEAK TICKET”

does anybody know where i can find the calendar that shows when is peak, when is saver? thanks.

Best answer:

Answer by les_18artist
I don’t think the airlines are giving out those inforamtion. I’m sure they are keeping it in the closet. Thanks

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3 comments - What do you think?  Posted by - October 23, 2010 at 6:23 am

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Will I have to pay for my luggage when I fly?

Question by Megan: Will I have to pay for my luggage when I fly?
I’m traveling round trip from Tulsa, Oklahoma to Houston, Texas on December 24th and returning on December 27th. I’m sitting in economy and traveling on Continental Airlines. I went onto their website and it says “Any customer traveling on full fare economy class (Y) tickets” doesn’t have to pay for the first piece of baggage. Well, I’m only taking one suitcase and a purse and I can’t fit the suitcase on board (it’s not that big but can’t fit in the overhead compartment). In my email confirmation it says I’m economy but it has the letter W after it instead of Y so will I have to pay for my luggage?

Best answer:

Answer by flash_flotsam
If you end up checking a bag, then yes, you would have to pay for it. On Continental, W is a fare code signifying a discounted coach fare — it is not a full fare Y ticket.

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1 comment - What do you think?  Posted by - October 22, 2010 at 6:02 pm

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Have you ever booked a guinea pig as checked baggage?

by Michael Oh

Question by Felix L: Have you ever booked a guinea pig as checked baggage?
I have fought, cried, begged, pleaded, and bartered to get my guinea pigs to fly as a carry-on in the cabin with every airline in the US, and it isn’t going to happen. The next best thing is checked luggage, and the man I spoke to who worked in cargo for 8 years said he’d never seen a pet mishandled, however, guinea pigs are entirely different.

So I don’t care about a cat or a dog or a lizard; how well any of these animals handled air travel as baggage is completely unrelated to how a guinea pig will cope. So, have you ever had to fly with a guinea pig (do you know of ANY way I can get my two in the cabin? I have talked to every department, to corporate where the only person who seemed to care at all couldn’t find any kind of exception, tried “my vet said it’s unsafe to have them in cargo, he’ll provide a letter” [this is true and was met with, “if it’s unsafe, all I can do is refund your ticket.”]) and how did it result? Was your pig okay? this can even be an answer from a friend of your friend; I have no choice at this point and I just want to hear from someone OTHER than the airline how my specific pet will deal.

my biggest fear is that a stress-induced heart attack will kill or severely injure my babies. People’s conjecture is not helping; I want experience.

Best answer:

Answer by jen_808
I would just make sure that if you do decided to check them in as luggage that you make sure the airline has heat in their cargo area on the plane. Some don`t.

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Be the first to comment - What do you think?  Posted by - at 3:05 am

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